Damaged people
are dangerous because they know how to survive.
Unknown
This touches me deeply because I know that when you feel you have
lost everything of value to you then nothing scares you anymore. There is
nothing that can hurt you when the worst has happened to you already.
There is no tragedy that terrifies you because your heart has been
broken into a thousand little pieces before and you have survived that. When
you have treaded that fine line between life and death it holds no fear.
There is not one thing in life that worries you because you have
been to hell and back and lived to tell the tale. Whatever happens to you now
can’t be as despairing as the agony you have lived.
Feeling this way is dangerous because I fear absolutely nothing. A
few months ago I was caught in a robbery in a mall. The robbers and security
guards were shooting at each other a mere 20 feet away from me. The sound of
the shots being fired gave me a fright but I didn’t feel scared at all.
The only thing I could think about was that maybe I would be
reunited with my son. My heart was racing in excitement and I felt so alive.
People were crying around me and I didn’t understand why. I was completely calm
and I realized then that no tragedy in this life will ever touch me again.
Namaste!
Rea, I don't believe for a second you didn't feel fear. In retrospect you may think you didn't but at the time you damn sure did. And remember life is about what you've lost, it's about what you gain.
ReplyDeleteI have gained so much in my life and I am grateful for that. Thanks for caring my friend.
DeleteRea, you are right about one thing. That is a dangerous way to live your life. I'm sure you're lack of fear brings no solace to those who love you. I truly hope you find the healthy fear that comes with life once again. And I hope your days are filled with sunshine.
ReplyDeleteI hope that as well my friend. But I am sure one day I will. Thank you
DeleteHi Rea,
ReplyDeleteI do understand this (though I haven't suffered a loss as great as yours and imagine the feeling is much deeper). There are times when I find a still-point and a solace within myself that comes from this place of no fear and no resistance. For me it comes from surrendering control and gaining acceptance. It's a relaxed place. It can be a very positive place like where you get with a good meditation practice. No fear - acceptance. It only becomes dangerous to self or others when combined with rage or despair. Then things get sticky. But I don't get the sense that that's what you're feeling. You're too appreciative of life's wonders and too understanding of its disappointments, it seems. Being in a place of no fear is, I think, a mature achievement in appreciating the impermanence of all things - including a serene, fearless state - it never lasts too long. Lily :)
You understand what I was trying to say, thanks Lily.
DeleteI think that's a wild story, girl! Thought u were gonna say you grabbed a gun and clipped a wing. Haha. I was living a damaged life for many years and had little to fear, not only because of what I survived but also cause I had less to lose, the more I lost. And days I felt in so much pain how could it get worse? So alone. But damaged people may inspire fear, OK, but also damaged people can be the least judgmental, mist loyal friends, and will often be the ones to say or do something in the midst of great injustice. And so am I. I wasn't always like that xxoo Nam myoho renge Kyo, Rea
ReplyDeleteHaha Katya, I'm not that wild! You know exactly what I meant with this. Thanks for reading and your insightful comment. Namaste
DeleteWhat she said.
Delete