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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Why me?

Have you ever asked yourself this question “Why me”? When your heart has been broken and it feels as if your life has come to an end. I wondered about this after I lost my son Emile to suicide on 5 February 2006. After a lot of soul searching I came to the conclusion that it was meant to be. How else could I have learned to feel compassion, sympathy and real empathy if I never felt the unbearable pain of loss? Kahlil Gibran says: “But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.” How very true these words are. How can we truly live and love if we don’t give it our all? When the rug has been pulled from under our feet and we have lost our footing in life, then can we really begin to feel love and compassion for others. We can’t go through life and care about the world and other people if we haven’t been broken and walked the path of healing. Why not you and I? What are we better than others not to experience the most unbearable pain on earth? We can’t grow if we haven’t truly felt out heart scatter into million pieces. Real life is not just roses and moonshine, it is to feel lost and broken and alone, and have the courage to get up and start all over again. I want to laugh all of my laughter and weep all of my tears and feel deeply for humans and God. I heard a saying once, when you are down the only way is up. Don’t feel that your life is over now that you have lost so much and your heart is broken, now is the time to get out there and feel and live this beautiful life God has given you to live. Go out and learn your lessons even if it breaks your heart. You are not alone, God has a plan for you and if you accept your fate it will be revealed to you. Every minute of every day is a gift to make life and the world a better place. I say to you now if you coast through life without a care in the world you will learn nothing worthwhile and your soul will never grow. I thank God for the opportunity He gave me to learn lessons in life and be grateful for life, the little time I have here on earth to grow as a soul. Don’t waste it on regret and guilt. Try to make right where you erred and give it your all. It is but one teardrop in the ocean of life. When death comes for you one day, you must be able to say; I have lived and I have learned and I have loved with all my heart.
Blessed Be