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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Be still, and know, He is God

Be still, and Know, I am God… this is the most profound text for me in the Bible. How hard it is to be still and know He is God, when your heart is broken and you feel hopeless and alone. The agonizing pain after the death of my son Emile almost drove me insane. I felt like running down the street screaming, ripping off my clothes and tearing out my hair. Every time that text would come back to me, be still, and know, I am God. If we can heed that advice and just be still and feel Him with us and holding us, we will be more able to overcome tragedies in our lives. Questions and what ifs and should have’s would run through my thoughts and my heart would feel ripped open by unseen claws. The guilt I felt for not seeing that there was something wrong with Emile made me want to hide away or bury myself under rocks. If only I spoke to him and asked him what was plaguing his mind, but I never did. I had to become still and know, He is God. With crazy thoughts running through your mind and feelings of self-blame, guilt and regret assaulting your senses it is the hardest thing to do. I prayed for months and begged God to take the unbearable pain away from me. Not until I heeded that text did my mind come to a rest. The pain didn’t leave me instantaneously but I was able to breathe for times in the knowledge it too will end. When you are in the midst of heartache all you can see is that pain and all that went wrong in your life, you don’t feel like being still. We ask continuously, what we did wrong to deserve this. Why does this have to happen to me? Instead try to still your mind and know He is God. Everything happens for a reason and it will be revealed to us in time, if we choose to see it for what it is. It doesn’t help us in our situation to blame ourselves or others for our problems and heartache. It doesn’t help to play those images over and over in your mind’s eye. It robs you of the peace you are so deserving of. When you feel the pain of your situation overcome you, be still, and know, He is God. Give it all over to Him and let it go, it is not yours to hold close and cuddle. It will just hurt you more so when you feed it all the time. Give all your pain to Him and know, he will take it away if you let Him. He will soothe your aching soul and fill you with acceptance and clarity of mind. Instead of all the negative hurtful feelings and thoughts meditate on the love, peace and light that are awaiting you. Blessed Be and Namaste.