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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

You are not doing anyone a favour by spoiling them...

You are not doing anyone a favour by spoiling them, I have first-hand experience. My mother spoiled and pampered me all through my childhood, so much so that I didn’t even know how to bake an egg when I got married. Where my mother left off my husband carried on. All my life I had people doing things for me, from making my bed, paying accounts to fixing anything that broke down. I never had to think about anything as trivial as that and now it has become a fight for survival.

After my husband died my youngest son and I were completely lost. We were like two teenagers being left all alone to run a house. We have no idea what we are doing but we are learning. We never had financial worries and there was always enough of everything. Now we have to work out a budget and try to fix things like the pool’s solar heating panels by ourselves where before we had him do everything for us.

My husband left a small life insurance policy and I bought an apartment to ensure some kind of monthly income. There was an amount of money left of that and in our ignorance we never thought it would run out. Imagine our surprise when all of a sudden all we had to survive on from month to month was my son’s income and the rent of the apartment. We were absolutely clueless how difficult life is without him to provide all our needs.

We are making numerous mistakes every day but we are having fun as well. One day we were sitting for more than an hour trying to fix something and not long after that we realized we could replace it for cheaper than the glue cost us. We are on a road of discovery and even though at times I feel like giving up we make it work somehow.

This is why I say you are not doing anyone a favour by spoiling them and doing everything without giving them a chance to learn and be independent. It’s the same as throwing them into the middle of the ocean and expect them to swim if they have never even been near water. I have cried many tears and threw many anger tantrums trying to live as an adult and be responsible. Hopefully it will all work out in the end.

Blessed Be and Namaste!!